Gracias Por...

While serving at the MTC and preparing to head out on my mission I was blessed to room with two Hermana's (Sister's who are going Spanish speaking areas). Since they had to learn an entirely different language in only a few weeks time the used their Spanish every chance they had. So, at night when we had "Room Prayers" theirs were always in Spanish. Their Spanish was still limited of course, but the one thing I remember very clearly was "Gracias por..." and fill in the blanks! This of course is "Thank you for...." I thought it interesting that what they were taught to say first, was how to talk to the Lord about how grateful they were. I loved that. It was beautiful to hear (and incidentally, one of the few parts of the prayer that I actually understood). Less than six months later, I found myself celebrating my only Thanksgiving while on my mission that had me equally grateful. I was in a "threesome" with a beautiful sister from New Orleans, and another one from Tahiti (we were the Oreo Cookie Gang!) and we were blessed to be serving in the BYU Asian Ward that month. We were invited to share that Thanksgiving with other students, students that could not afford to fly home for the weekend holiday (Japan and Korea aren't exactly a quick car ride home). Of course, we fit right in!! There was no turkey that year. No stuffing, mash potatoes, gravey or pie. Instead what there was was this amazing feeling of the Spirit, and an understanding of what that first Thanksgiving must have looked like. People who were different, but who all believed in the common power of the love, and a God who loved them and were merciful. No prejudices. No strange feeling of awkwardness. Instead we had the biggest pot of rice and curry that you have ever layed eyes on, along side sushi, and a million other dishes who's names I cannot even pronounce anymore. We had this bond of a testimony of Jesus Christ, being far from home and people we loved, trying new things, excited about meeting new people and making new friends, and of course or love of spicy things! As you sit down this Thanksgiving, take from my story what you will and apply it to what you may. Take a moment to talk with those who are elderly, to wrap your arms around them for just a moment. Find the closest, chubby baby and love and tickel on them. Grab your mother or father and tell them how much you love them, even if you just had a fight. My step-father passed away nearly 12 years ago now. My mother is visiting my sister in Mesa. My adopted sister is having dinner with her extended family, and all of our extended family is back in Omaha. What I wouldn't give for the moment you will have tomorrow. To love on someone just one more time. To hear a baby life because of you is the sweetest sound in the world. To be able to tell your mom or dad that you love them, because they are simply here...these are all gifts Little Sister's. Be grateful for them. And if you cannot find any other reason...be grateful that you don't have to make the turkey until you grow up and have a home of your own. :) Happy Thanksgiving! I am grateful for you! xo Dani

"You Do Not Define ME!"

Today on Facebook I saw this quote from Elder Richard G. Scott (October 2003 General Conference): With all my capacity I encourage you to discover who you really are. I invite you to look beyond the daily routine of life. I urge you to discern through the Spirit your divinely given capacities. I exhort you to prayerfully make worthy choices that will lead you to realize your full potential. You are of a singular generation with exceptional potential. No wonder Satan wants to cripple that potential by tempting you to violate the laws of God. He knows that he has no power over a righteous individual. Yet he is a master at making sin appealing to the undecided. Remain worthy. When you really understand who you are, it is not difficult to resist Satan’s temptations. Then he can’t thwart the development of your true potential. Oh my Little Sister's, please understand that "Knowing Who You Are" is something that you must find out regularly because it will be tested daily! I have only shared this story with a few in my life, but if I am truly going to serve my "Little Sisters" I have to lay everything out there. When I was 13 years old, I was treated horribly by the Young Women in my ward. Girls acted like friends to my face, and in the same breath talked badly about me behind my back. This was a new Ward for me, and I could not understand what exactly I had done so wrong to deserve being treated in such a way. This all came to an ugly head one summer, my FIRST summer at Girls Camp. We were in the process of switching Wards during my first year at Camp, so this event occurred during what was technically my Second Year, passing off two years of requirements, AND staying with the Third Years because there were no Second Years at Camp that year. (Are you still with me on this? lol) I stayed in a tent with girls I was not particularly friends with, but they were the only ones from my Ward that I knew. One day, I tried to stay out of their way, but at night I would listen to them talk and hang out with them (where else was I going to go?). One day I came back to our tent where someone had taken a maxi-pad and shredded it all over my sleeping bag. When I realized what it was and who had probably done it I was totally embarassed and humiliated. Having no friends in the camp, and not being a tattle-tale, I retreated within myself and went with hands shaking to the campfire and just sat and stared while I figured out how I should feel about this and then, what was I going to do? I couldn't very well go back in that tent again. And what on earth had I ever done to those girls to deserve such treatment?? The answer was simple, NOTHING. When I went to Church Sunday and those girls still acted as if nothing had happend. They giggled together, walked around with their noses in the air, as if they had not just spent the last week trying to destoy me. What they did not realize was that this one event defined me. For the rest of my life I have remember that week. Why? It was then that I was tried. I was tested, and I had discovered WHO I was and WHAT I was made of, and that has made ALL the difference in who I am today. I walked into that church building knowing that THEY DID NOT BREAK ME and that I was determined to be there because it was what I wanted, and I knew that I was stronger because of them. That I CHOSE not to let them take my testimony away from me. It was not theirs to take! From that moment on, things changed in my life. I became a leader in our Young Women's organization (one that continued to grow). I never actually held a "leadership position" but from what I understand, I was loved because I made others feel loved. I went out of my way to make certain that not a single one of those girls ever felt the way that I did during my first months in that new Ward. If I thought for a second that I had hurt a single one of those young ladies, I would repent of it (yes, 20+ years later). Even today, my favorite calling next to Seminary Teacher that I have had was as the Ward Girl's Camp Director. Where are those girl's from so long ago? Unfortunately only one or two are still active members of the Church. The others...still fence sitting. It is so sad to me. So my Little Sisters...determine WHO YOU ARE right now, today! Pray to know your purposes, to hold true to the Lord. Don't walk the fence...decide and stay true to that. I clung to the Lord through that week of H#@*. I have never been treated so badly in my life than I was that week...and I will forever be grateful that I walked through it to know that other's do not define me. Have a great day Sister's! xox Dani

Modesty...Honestly

Although I have been "writing" for years, and have even started several now non-existent blogs, this is the first one that is so near and dear to my heart that it was a must-do! Today I was reminded of this fact when I saw a dear "Little Sister's" Facebook post with a photo of herself and her friends. In the photo's they were headed to Senior Formal. The first thing that I noticed was how gorgeous she was...and her modest dress was stunning on her! Now, I LOVE bling. Can't help it. Sparkley things...yep, totally all over it! And this young lady was all about the bling! 100% class. So impressed with that. Oh, don't get me wrong ladies...I LOVE the look of so many amazingly immodest dresses. I would love to have so many of them. I think they just stunning, and I do long for one...for about a minute or two. However, after that two minutes is up...the first thing I wonder is "How can I modify this dress to make it modest and still maintain its flash and flare?" You have had the "modesty" talk a thousand times I am certain. See, I never did though. Teenage girls did not have the push 15-20 years ago that they do now about such things. At least not that I was aware of, until my Relief Society President sort of called me out on it. I was 21 and getting ready for a fancy dance and business dinner (with my future husband). It was off the shoulder. I knew it wasn't as modest as it could be, but hey I added long sleeves to it, wasn't that good enough?? I have nice shoulders!! I wanted to show them off. So, did it really matter? In the course of the night I never thought of it, and had kind of shrugged it off, but somehow I can still see her being so kind as she made suggestions knowing and understanding better than I did that I did not need such things to show my beauty. Within five months I would go to the temple...and would never wear that dress again. Do I still look at those those clothes and yearn for them...well, not so much so now, because I know that I am teaching my own daughters that their beauty lies within. That when you distract a young man with flesh..."there shall his heart be also." Now, my husband didn't seem to notice that night (convert to the Church), but having looked back...could my attire have made him uncomfortable? I know it would today. My husband is gorgeous, and his favorite outfit of mine is one where I am pretty much covered up from neck to toe. :) My LS on FB, she did not have to learn this lesson. Her date could be proud instead of uncomfortable as she tried to pull up her strapless gown over her chest for the hundreth time as it slid down. He did not have to avert his gaze when she leaned over, and all he had to focus on was this beauty that he walked into the dance with that night. And she is beautiful. When trying on clothing, ask yourself? "Where will people be looking?" If the eyes are the "window to the soul," can everyone see my soul or are they looking elsewhere becasue my attire makes them uncomfortable? Just sayin... xo Big Sis Dani

What is "Big Sister's Room?"

I don't think that there is any place more safe, or sacred than a "Sister's Bedroom." Within the walls of that room, secrets are shared, questions answered, long-night talks take place about...boys, friend drama, things of God, school, parents, and anything else we could think of. My little sister and I, although not having been close during our teen years, still find that our sanctuary from the world. So, most of those discussions take place on the phone...but in the meantime I have found that I have a desire to provide this for all of my "little sisters" in the world. Questions about some of these things can be difficult to discuss, but even more difficult to simply ask! Now I have the privilege of inviting more "little sisters" into my proverbial "bedroom." So, I created this site so that we could make the Big Sister Bedroom as big as it needed to be. Discuss questions that needed to be discussed...maybe those things that might be difficult for you to discuss otherwise. So, imagine this as my big, fluffly, feather-topped bed here at my house, and we are all laying on it, eating chips & dip, with a bag of chocolate being passed around, feet up on the wall, while lounging in our favorite comfy pajamas...and we are just simply chatting it up! So, come and spend some time with your "Big Sis" and maybe we can help each other. I am NOT promising that I know the answers to EVERYTHING...but I do think that I can guide you to where you may find your answers. I may not tell you everyting you want to hear. I may ask questions to help you discover the answer on your own even. Keep in mind though...I am going to turn to my knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ as well. And if I find that what is being asked is a little more "sacred" than this blog will allow, I will probably ask you to message me, or I will refer you to other wonderful resources your own parents, big sister as the case may be. :) I truly believe that this is a chosen generation of young women...but this life gets complicated, and Satan has truly waged a battle against this elite force. So I will be there for you as much as I can, helping you figure out your place, and where you stand and what you can do to make certain you stay "True to Who You Are" (paraphrasing Shakespear here). I hope you enjoy this site and check back often as I add all sorts of helps, and new conversations are added. You may not always like the answer...but that doesn't mean that my answer is not correct either...so be prepared for that one. Either way, my answerws will always come from my heart and with total love for my "Little Sisters." xo Dani